Another day and another cemetery visit? You bet! This one is a little different though. Noelle here, by the way. I’ve mentioned before that my Mom died about three years ago. Then last year we said goodbye to my Dad too. Good byes are never easy, but these permanent ones, well they’re even harder.
Frankly, I’m glad they both missed 2020 and the isolation of Covid-19. Their hometown also endured two hurricanes and a ridiculous loss of power during this winter’s recent freak cold and ice storm. We drove past there today and saw the devastation that still exists after Hurricanes Laura and Sally. From the freeway, we saw downed trees, blue tarp roofs on house after house, and boarded up high-rise windows. We even saw a new-to-us “neighborhood” of row upon row of single-wide manufactured homes. My sister said they came from FEMA for all the folks who lost their homes.
So, missing 2020 isn’t the worst thing that could happen for my parents. Instead, of quarantining, they got to be reunited in death or in the life-after, as I’d like to think. That’s okay by me.
My sisters are gathering for our parents’ inurnment. It’s another cemetery visit that’s been looming ahead of us and I’m glad the time is finally here. We originally planned to have the burial and a family gathering last July, but then global pandemic, so we postponed till now. I guess it’s an act of closure, so that’s good. But honestly, I’ve had chats with my Dad throughout the year. So the actual burial doesn’t change what’s already in my heart.
When we were in Natchez, visiting their amazing cemetery, we unfortunately witnessed real grief in the newer section. Our love of old cemeteries is based on the history, on our curiosity of the past. It’s not about current grief, that’s not our deal at all. So while I know in some ways, I’m still grieving the loss of my parents, it’s not that new raw emotion that exists in the first months.
I’ve selected a couple of signature cocktails for our sister gathering. A gin-based Corpse Revivor 2 and a girlie drink, Cotton Candy Margarita. I figure is signature cocktails are the cool thing for weddings, why not have one for an inurnment too! The other night, I cooked Lemongrass tofu for dinner, so…I made a lemongrass and ginger simple syrup while I was at it. Lemongrass and ginger in a gin & tonic. Sounds like perfection to me!
When we talk about our future plans, I mean after our vagabond stage, well I’d like to get two dogs. I’m going to name them Gin and Ginger. It’s funny. You know it is. We’ve also wanted a dog named Kevin and even tried to name our little Poodle that, but the kids would have none of it. Then we tried to change Buddy’s name to Bacon after we adopted him, but this time he would have none of it. So we joke that Steve can get two dogs named Kevin and Bacon. Get it?! hahaha.
Another cemetery visit
Somehow I’ve left my topic about another cemetery visit and instead have begun amusing myself. Maybe that’s part of healing from grief. Laughing helps in the growing and I’m thankful for that. My relationship with my parents was complicated, which is probably not too unusual. Frankly, my mother is much easier to love now that she’s gone. She can’t get in the way of our relationship now, so I can just love her knowing she did the best she could do. I think that’s enough. I’m okay with it, at any rate.
Saying goodbye is part of life. It’s just the cycle of it, so I’m okay to gather with my sisters for yet another cemetery visit and say a proper goodbye to our parents. Then next week, I’ll head home for a couple weeks and spend some time with our kids and grandkids. It really is the cycle of life.